Adebola Alabi
If I ask you if you love yourself, your answer will most likely be a definite YES.
I know most of us will say YES to that question, Yet, sometimes, many of us act as our own enemies. We do this when we practice self-rejection.
Self-rejection is an act of self-sabotage. It is you being against you. It occurs when you constantly put yourself down, telling yourself that you can’t do it. You reject yourself when you completely shut down your dreams, even before you give yourself the chance to try.
You practice self-rejection if:
You stop yourself from applying for a job you desire and are qualified for, but something within you tells you that you can’t get it, so you did not apply.
You are in a group they are looking for the next leader; you don’t think they will choose you, so you did not nominate yourself.
You have an idea about a book, you don’t think no one will like your opinion, so you did not write the book.
You don’t think anyone will like your picture, so you did not post it.
You are in a meeting, you have something to say, but you don’t think anyone will value your opinion, so you did not say anything.
In these cases, you are working against yourself. You are putting yourself down. You are hurting your chances of getting what you truly desire.
I know no one likes to be rejected by others, but self-rejection is practically tramping upon yourself. It is unproductive, unwise, and unhelpful.
If you want to live to your full potential, you’ve got to stop rejecting yourself, your ideas, your opinion, your input, and your dreams. Give yourself a chance for success by getting rid of self-doubt & self-criticism.
Stop fighting yourself, and start fighting for yourself
Stop being against you, and start being for you
Stop pushing yourself down, and start lifting yourself up.
I’m not going to pretend and tell you that it’s easy. Sometimes, it can be hard, especially if you have been trying and failing in the past if you are not 100% confident of what you need to say. However, if you love yourself, you’ve got to try. You’ve got to raise your hand. You’ve got to raise your voice. You’ve got to show up.
I have 4 quick tips to help you stop self-rejection and build confidence in yourself.
- Practice Self-love: Self-love is about appreciating your uniqueness and knowing who you are. It is about loving you for who you are. It is not about making excuses for yourself about what could be. It involves some gentle push to get you out of your comfort zone.
- Build self-confidence: When you love yourself, you will be able to get up, raise your hand, use your voice and put yourself out there; you will begin to build confidence in yourself and what you can accomplish. When you stop making excuses for your shortcomings, you will be able to unleash your skills and talents, increasing your confidence.
- Gain self-trust: When you can build confidence in your ability, you will find it easier to pursue your dreams. You will no longer let the thought of rejection hold you back. You will become unstoppable.
- Be You: Be unapologetically you. Every other person has been taken. The only way to really live a fulfilled life is to do you and be you as much as possible. You should know that you are unique, there is no one else like you, and the world is eager to hear from you.
So the next time,
The picture is not good enough; you post it anyway.
You have something to say but think they won’t want to hear what you have to say; say it anyway.
If you are qualified for a job, but you think you won’t get it, apply anyway.
If you want to ask for help, but you think they will turn you down, ask anyway.
Give yourself a chance for success by following your dreams.
It’s okay to be a work in progress. No one is perfect anyway.
It’s okay to feel weird initially; it will get better.
It’s okay not to be 100% from day one. Just keep going.
Let your voice be heard. Raise your hand. Show up. Love yourself.
Don’t self-reject yourself.
